… just 15% like you and 15% like him, I would have at least 50% better mental health and would be at least 100% more productive and my life would have 200% more meaning. But I’m not capable of being even 1% like you or 1% like him. So I will suffer till I don’t exist anymore and this suffering, headache and pain just goes away.

It’s not certain that you will succeed
Or maybe you will – more or less
Just remember when you do (or don’t)
That where you’ve reached is
Founded upon the corpses of others.

Especially me.

No – your success (or the lack of it)
Is not certain.
But my martyrdom
Is certain for sure.

Maybe you will remember the corpses
That piled up along the way. Or not.
Its not for you to have guilt
You focus on doing well.

It still doesn’t lessen my pain
To write about the indignity of
Always having to serve you

Such is my misfortune.
I’m dying and sinking most moments
And i have no strength or ability
To save myself.

What a waste my life has been.
I’m sorry to those who love me
That I could never amount to anything.
At all.