If I could have 20% of your blessings, 20% of your audacity and arrogance and 12% of your selfishness, I could do so much more for myself. All that I have done for you is in the past. Its eaten up. You get a benefit, I get a loss. There is no RoI, since there was never an ‘R’.
I am fed up of living in this shit world. The mark is on your. I forsake my responsibility for my own well-being. I will make it my mission to be irresponsible towards myself henceforth. So my well-being is your credit; my loss and ill-health and then, death – is mine alone.
The headache comes and goes. It becomes unbearable to the point of tears at times. I just want to bang my head into a wall but, of course, I let better sense prevail. Its tempting to shout out loud or cry or break down – but again – I let the moment go by and let “better sense prevail”. I loose patience at times and I am sorry for that. I need to get better at not acting out just because my head is aching so much. The pain is intense and the head is heavy.
Does it mean that a natural end might be near? Lets see…
How does it feel to use me – you know – just use me? Like you would use water to wash hands. Or use the road to get from point A to point B? Just how does it feel to use someone? Powerful? Superior? Smart?
I don’t know. I want to know. Please tell me.
What is the utility of a human being? Which beings are useful to us…and who are not? How do the utility of a person affect how we treat them… Or respect them or not? Whyndo we define the utilitarian value of a human being to us?
Why are some people useful but still deserving of our abuse and mistreatment and dishonour? What cognitive system can we use to make such judgements?