I have lost too much that I don’t have the energy to rebuild again. If I don’t rebuild, I don’t know what I will do because without the phoenix rising, there is no sustenance anyway. But to sustain and rise, I need energy. I do not have energy. Whatever little is there is sucked by others. I don’t have any left for myself. Its draining.
I might have time for myself. But no energy to utilise the time for my benefit. The cost is using up all my energy for others is such.
The sources for energy are limited. The sinks are numerous. There is no storage. The battery doesn’t get charged. I over-extend. I burn out. They are thankless blood suckers. I have no more blood to give. If I give more, they will want more. And then I won’t have much left my own life. I don’t know how to help them and myself at the same time.